Stranger Things

Seems like a major pain in the tail. But whatever, I'll treat it like a good deed for Acahualla.

So where can I find them?

Phew, it's finally over. That Gavial is pretty scary.

Seems like you're on the right path though, finally.

Are you happy now, Edge?

To be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready to part with the Great Aquapit.

Hah! Whose fault is it that the damned thing's sitting in the middle of the railway? Otherwise I really wouldn't have been able to find a single person willing to knock that thing down!

Yeah, but I did just have an idea. It's been more than half a year since the dome broke and the waterfall started coming down.

Everyone's been having a great time, but I'm sure they're starting to get tired of it.

Why don't we take this opportunity to build something brand new? I think you were talking to Catch about a super water cannon or something, and it's on everyone's lips now!

And I'm not gonna lie, I'm also a little intrigued...

...*sigh*.

That Archosauria woman! Brutish, uncouth, impetuous, and presumptuous! Can you believe it, Croque? I was having a bit of writer's block, so I went up to the caves to harvest some wild tea and relax...

And someone scooped you up and jumped off the top of the waterfall.

Utterly unthinkable.

Regrettably, I'm afraid that no ordinary Zeruertzan would be able to resist the seduction of that story. If it were put to paper, it would become an overnight sensation.

'You can trust me.' 'Avdotya, hold on tight.' Ahh, it hits all those passionate notes.

Forget it!

It certainly beats your umpteenth story about the snow.

Speaking of which, a couple days ago, a few kids came by to talk to me about those short stories. I thought I was finally getting some readers...

What'd they have to say?

'Really funny. I want to see what happens next.'

I knew it.

Avdotya, they didn't mean any harm. It's just that we Durins have no way of relating to your experiences.

How long did it take for me to finally understand a sliver of your background? Let's not even talk about ordinary Durins.

None of us have seen real snow, let alone the kind that you describe... How do you pronounce those words again? 'Chiaroscuro'? 'Ephemeral'?

It'd be better if those words only existed in literature.

Regardless, I'm happy with my life now. I don't try to control anyone, nobody tries to control me. There are no terror plots brewing behind the scenes, no risk of getting framed, no getting dragged into an assassination.

I write a few ads and design a few signs for our shopping district, and that's enough to keep me fed. What more could I ask for?

I spend my days bathing beneath the sun on my recliner. Sure, it might be an artificial light source, but that's enough for me.

I was hoping these tranquil days would continue forever, until...

Is this the office of the business representative, Croque Diamondface?

Hello, I want to blow up that big slide.

......

...*sigh*.

Yo, Avdotya, fancy seeing you here!

She doesn't look too good.

Sorry, Croque, I'm afraid I have to excuse myself.

I need to head back and perform some maintenance on my crossbow.

Did I do something to make her mad?

Ahem... Are you the guests who just arrived in Zeruertza? I heard Catch talking about you earlier.

I must say, his assessment of the situation was on the nose.

'A merry bunch more Durin than Durins.'

Evasive maneuvers! Evasive maneuvers!

Hmm, what a weird design. Couldn't be more different from Lancet-2.

Please stay back!

Doesn't seem as smart as her, but it does share some of her same basic reactions. Wonder how this thing works?

Danger level: high! Stay back, stranger.

Take it easy, little fella. My name's Zumama. I'm not going to hurt you.

Defining identity, Zumama.

What's your name?

Attributes: Model R3-E3 assistant robot, number 0429, for the glory of serving the Durin people.

Hi there, 0429. Is there something wrong with your shock absorber system? You're wobbling all over the place.

Self-inspection report: End of service life: approaching. Original components: aging.

I can help. Look, I have a whole set of maintenance tools.

Overhaul... Determining probability of success: low. R3-E3 will be scrapped after service life ends.

From what I've seen, little fella, there's nothing major wrong with you. Probably nothing a few screws can't fix, so don't give up on yourself just yet.

You're a cutie, so I'd like to help you. How about it?

We can be friends.

Friends? Unable to comprehend: friend.

You can help me conduct an overhaul?

Sure can.

But I'll have to open up your shell first.

No. Requesting mission cancellation, requesting mission cancellation. Danger, danger!

Don't run away! It'll be fine!

Did I just see a surface-dweller Phidia chasing after an assistant robot?

Well that's odd. Did I drink too much yesterday?

Speaking of which, Avdotya writes about this kind of stuff, doesn't she? About 'chasing and killing' and whatnot, even if I can't understand half of it.

Well, uh, I guess I'm starting to get why she keeps saying it's not meant to be a comedy.

Care for some tea, Miss Inam?

So, Durins actually do have non-alcoholic drinks.

Everyone needs a change of pace every now and then. Plus, ahem, I AM still at work, after all. I prefer to drink on my own time.

You suggested we talk one-on-one.

I have no doubts about Gavial's skills in a fight, but I don't think her fists will be very helpful here.

After all, we're not so different. You, the business representative of Zeruertza, and I.

I see that you're the type to talk trade. Fine by me, I'm on board.

Zeruertza is just a small Durin settlement. A few years ago, when we were still connected to the other cities, I did have a semblance of a job as the business representative.

But ever since the last earthquake, our sole railroad has been cut off. Zeruertza is fortunate enough to be self-sufficient, the citizens aren't the neediest and there's been little urgency to restore our ties with the outside.

Nowadays, my job is little more than catering to the whims of Zeruertza's populace and pushing out a few entertainment activities.

Throw my weight around with the hawkers near the Great Aquapit, advertise some self-driving cart parts. It's a leisurely life.

I don't know much about Durin philosophy, but does 'not being the neediest' normally mean getting piss drunk and going surfing?

Pretty much.

But if you asked anyone up on the surface...

Pretty much. By our standards, that's not very needy.

So, it doesn't matter what terms Stitch laid out for you. If you want me to go along with your plan to blow up the water slide, you'll have to come up with something that'll impress me.

No business gets done until both sides find the deal amenable.

What can you offer Zeruertza's economy? Acahuallan artifacts aren't enough.

I heard some sharp self-driving cart dealers already used your grand entrance to generate some excitement for their wares, but that's not enough either.

You... understand the way we do things on the surface better than I expected.

Though I haven't been up there surface myself, the library we have here in the city isn't just for show.

I am familiar with your customs.

The Acahuallans dance around a Metal Crab without sleep or rest, and the last one standing becomes the Great Chief. Isn't that right?

Where did you hear that?

I read it in 'Stranger Things.' It's the most popular periodical in Zeruertza. Back in the day, a great adventurer brought a whole big set down from the surface. It's basically our encyclopedia of the surface world.

That's just a lousy tabloid!

Surely you're mistaken... You have no idea how diligently I studied Sargonian to be able to read those books.

No wonder your accent sounds almost native.

Welp, there goes my motivation all of a sudden. I feel like I could probably just bribe you with the last few issues of 'Stranger Things.'

The most recent ones? There are sequels to those books?! Hmm... If you really could procure those, then maybe I could consider it...

I can hook you up with some good stuff.

What is this?

A videotape. Want to take a look?

Found you.

Oh, Avdotya, what a coincidence. Are you here to enjoy the scenery again?

Be frank with me — why did you people come here?

Miss Inam said she'd handle the discussions with Miss Croque, so the rest of us came out here to find Zumama.

That's not what I mean. Why did you surface people come down into our city? What's your real purpose?

I've been guarding the Super Convenient Lift-o-Matic #1 for a long time. Where's the main battalion backing you? Have Sargon's lords ameer finally taken an interest in the wealth underground?

This city doesn't have the loot you want. Leave, unless you want to poison this peaceful little city with bloodshed.

I told you, this is a misunderstanding. Stitch was trying to find someone to help him repair the railway, and tricked us into coming here.

You mean you're his slave labor? And you're okay with that?

Hey.

That guy was acting like the sky was falling at the time, and Tomimi added her own creative touch... *sigh*, I was worried half to death, Zumama was up all night prepping for a tough fight, and we rushed over as fast as we could.

*sniffle*... Sorry, I just wanted Gavial to take some time off...

Well, it worked out... I guess I'll take this opportunity for a little vacation.

So... You people really don't have any ill intent? You weren't ordered by some noble to ransack the town?

Believe me or not. Your call.

You do have a point... Even Sargon wouldn't ask someone as rude as you to serve them.

Rude? I just don't like wasting my breath.

My plan's simple and straightforward. Help out that little runt Stitch, pick up some useful tech for us Tiacauh, and then go home. That's all.

There's still a bunch of patients back at Rhodes Island waiting for me to check on 'em.

You're telling me you're a doctor?

What, do I not look the part? I'm licensed and everything.

If Miss Tomimi here said that she was a doctor, I'd be half-inclined to believe her for a few seconds.

Oh, I can be a doctor too! Gavial taught me anesthesia!

Find the right spot, and then give it a good whack––

Everyone at Rhodes Island calls it, uh, 'Gaviallic kinetic anesthesia.'

For crying out loud, it's a non-conventional modality. Even I rarely use it outside of extremely special circumstances.

For example, when you've just run out of anesthesia and you lost your supply bag because you were beating the bad guys with it, stuff like that.

––I think I'll keep an eye on you people after all.

Don't get any funny ideas. Zeruertza is my haven of peace, and I won't let you destroy it.

Go nuts.

I'll make sure you leave Zeruertza after doing what you said you're here to do.

Well, until then, why don't we check out the shops?

Um, Miss Avdotya... You're from these parts, so would you mind showing us around Zeruertza?

Just a word of warning... If your plan is to case the city and map it, you'd give up on that.

N-No, that's not it! What I mean is...

I absolutely love your outfit! Are there any Durin fashion outlets worth visiting? I... really want to go take a look!

Huh...?

Alright, if that's what you want... There are a few places worth going to.

Are you interested in seeing some Durin jewelry?

I am!!

Stitch––

What are you doing here, Catch?

You used to always lock yourself in your room. What's the occasion?

Look, even I want to catch some rays every now and then. Surely you didn't come all the way out here just to say that?

You're trying to blow up my slide, and you're not even going to let me talk to you?

...Hmph. So you know.

Master Edge told me.

That decrepit old... Are you here to get a confession out of me?

Actually, I'm not opposed to it. This summer has gone on far too long.

And as architects, our best work is always the next project, right?

Gah. I hate that part of you more than anything else.

Which?

You don't have a single serious bone in your body.

Hahaha, I'll take that as the highest compliment!

I'll agree to whatever you want with the slide, on the condition that we talk about the dome.

What's there to talk about?

Let's go take a walk. You should experience the Great Aquapit for yourself before deciding whether to blow it up, no?

Do you have more? Where can I get the next one?!

Pwaaah! That's the good stuff! Inam, want me to pour you some more?

I still haven't finished mine...

C'mon, hurry it up~

It's a shame Team Red Wine and Coffee didn't win the championship! Ahh, they were just one step away from that ship!

You seem to be enjoying yourself.

I must admit, you surface-dwellers lead slightly more interesting lives than I imagined!

What is this a recording of?

The Dossoles Warrior Championship. It's an old video I got from a friend who runs a caravan.

I heard something happened there not too long ago, and I don't know if the event has been held these last few years.

Ahhhh! I want to see more! I want to see the losers make a comeback next year!

Croque, even the most boring form of recreation can become quite stimulating if you spice things up with a bit of competition.

You cheer for the team you support while chugging ale with your friends. I don't think any Durin would be able to turn down this lifestyle.

Plus, alcohol and fast food sales generally double during a competition. How about it? I think it'd fit the Durins like a glove.

Alcohol sells well enough in this city, and I doubt there's any need to hold a competition to stimulate those sales.

That said, hmm... From the perspective of fun and entertainment, there is a certain appeal.

Let me say this to you straight, business representative.

Want to build a super water racetrack?