Alternate Reality Tourism

The air flows smoothly here, the area is spacious but sheltered from wind and rain, the temperature is pretty agreeable, and it's dark enough to skip the eye mask.

Um... I think Elysium raises some good points! But I'm not too familiar with these field tents...

No problemo, I'll show you what to do. This model's very simple— just unfold it and it's pretty much good to go. Just need to secure a few locks...

Woah, you're right! Very convenient!

When Logistics originally designed this model, they specifically consulted ME, the fieldwork specialist that I am!

I even graciously agreed to let them name the series after me, but I'm not sure why they didn't go through with it.

Well, maybe they felt there was still room for improvement, and that this tent model wasn't worthy of my name? What a shame. They should know I wouldn't nitpick over such minor things!

Tomimi, I've been hearing a lot about what a good time you've had at Rhodes Island, and that's all well and good, but I have to admit, I'm having second thoughts...

Do Rhodes Islanders always pitch tents inside lifts?

Um, I think Elysium is an exception...

I'll say it one more time— this isn't any regular old lift! This is the pride and joy of the Durin people, the Super Convenient Lift-o-Matic #1!

Yes, indeedy. Makes for a great campsite.

Hey!

Enough of that, you two. How long will it take to get to the underground city you're talking about?

Yeah, what's up with that, kiddo? We've been sitting in this lift for almost half an hour already.

It's not like I'm... *sigh*... I can't help but wonder, were you mixed up in all those stories I heard about Gavial back at the tribe?

Of course! Too often am I on the receiving end of that woman's fists!

...I think it might be better if you turned back.

Well, it's not THAT often, but once every three weeks wouldn't be an exaggeration...

Wait! Elysium might just be one of Gavial's regular coworkers, but...

I am Gavial's most cherished partner, the leader of Acahualla's mightiest tribe, 'Gavial's Will!'

There's almost nothing true about that second half.

Haha... I appreciate your generosity and selfless help. I'm sure the city will welcome you with open arms.

(mutters) Hopefully your ugly-ass metal monsters-on-treads will come in handy...

Did you say something, Stitch?

Oh, not at all, I was just saying we're almost there.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Zeruertza.

It's extremely rare for any surface-dweller to get to lay eyes on a Durin city, let alone our beautiful––

Hey, hey, hey! What the heck is THAT?!

A giant waterfall?

It's... a huge water slide!!

No, that's not what's important. Can't you pay some respect to that beautiful, minimalistic place in the distance with a garden...

So this is a Durin city? I thought it would be a bit more, uh... normal?

Mysterious underground palaces and whatnot. That's what the magazines always talk about.

Actually, Zeruertza is rather unique among Durin cities, because it was built by the legendary designer standing before you.

My predecessors came here with the vision to create a city of beauty and harmony, and this magnificence is the product of their philosophy! And minimalism! It's...

Super Spinner Slide!!!

Dylan wouldn't stop going on about how much fun Acahualla was, and I didn't believe him at first, with that wicked grin on his face, but it turned out to be true!

Ooh, ooh! I wanna see, I wanna see! We have to bring Gavial next time!

I wonder if the legendary Durins are interested in doing business.

Is there not a single shred of appreciation for minimalism in those empty heads of yours?! What is that heap of junk in front of you to the greatness of my work?!

Well, whatever... I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up for you people.

Huh, it should be somewhere around here.

Some elders in the tribe mentioned a giant cave beneath Acahualla, but I didn't expect it to be this complex.

Seems like what Tomimi and the others were saying turned out to be true.

If the worst case scenario comes to pass, it won't just be us Tiacauh that are affected. Everyone in this entire region's going to be at risk.

There's no way it's that serious.

High Priest! What are you doing here?

Naturally, I came because I sensed the two of you in need of help. I am the all-knowing High Priest after all.

So, old man, how are we supposed to get inside that legendary underground city?

Don't be in such a rush, children. It's not every day you get to delve deep into an underground cave. Soak in your surroundings.

Take a look at these fluorescent plants. I'll let you in on a little secret— if you grind them into powder and sprinkle them over grilled fin, the flavor simply speaks for itself.

And look at these tiny little fruits on the vines...

Sorry, but we're a bit short on time here!

Alright, I know. Do you remember the safe route coming here? If I recall correctly, it's left, right, then another right, then another left?

And then four left turns in a row after that?

That would take us right back where we started.

Really? Strange.

Let me see if I can pull something else from memory... Ugh, these underground passages wind to and fro. It's hard to keep things straight! Was it right, and then uphill? Or was it downhill?

How about the more dangerous path?

You're just as impetuous as when you were little.

There does happen to be a path that is somewhat dangerous, but saves more time.

See that river heading underground? Jump down.

For real?

The two of you should probably be fine, judging from your statures. But...

You heard the man, Zumama. Get ready, and take a deep breath––

Let's go!

But, I would advise the two of you to just follow me slowly. The thing is... Huh? Where'd they go?

In any case, this is the Durin city of Zeruertza.

I had no idea there was a place like this beneath Acahualla...

Zeruertza has had its roots here since antiquity, but with the exception of a few adventurous idiots, we've generally had little interest in the surface world.

Of course, I am an exception.

You don't much care for stories of adventure?

That's right, I don't care for them at all.

Stop trying to twist my words! I'm not an idiot either!

That's not how I see it!

Ahem... Let me introduce myself once more. I am Stitch Canvas, the most distinguished architectural designer in the city.

As you can see, the buildings around the city that speak most directly to one's heart and soul were designed by none other than myself!

Like that big water slide over there? My respect for you is going through the roof, Mr. Stitch!

Uhh, no, that's not mine.

You must've designed the dome above this underground city, then! It even simulates the feeling of sunlight. Incredible! Good going, kiddo, you're more than meets the eye!

Have you no aesthetic taste? Are you unable to grasp what truly matters about this city?

Uhh... the greenery looks pretty nice?

Alright, we'll need to cultivate some appreciation in you.

Since you'll never get another opportunity like this and I happen to have some time before my next job, I wouldn't mind showing you a place in this city that stands as the quintessence of wisdom.

It is my temporary residence, personally designed to bear the core of my profound philosophy...

Behold––

Inam, look! What kind of store is that?!

A swimsuit shop?

They're so cute!!

Durin clothes won't fit you. Not to mention your thick tail...

P-P-Please don't talk about my tail!

It can't hurt to take a look, right?

Hey, you two. Hey!!

Elysium, we have to bring those two back...

Thanks for your patronage~

Mmh, what an exotic flavor! These grilled mushrooms are as unique as you'd expect!

Kay's culinary tastes are top-class. If the mushrooms of Acahualla are not to be missed, the mushrooms beneath Acahualla are to die for! Care for a bite?

Don't you think you're assimilating way too easily?!

Ugh, my head hurts...

Hang in there, brother! Don't let these little setbacks get the better of you! All our suffering, all our hardship... It all meant something!

The disease is taking me... The time we spent together was pure delight...

There has to be some way, I'm sure of it...

What about that mystical liquid? The miracle juice that supposedly restores anyone to health!

Yeah, that's right... There's still the good stuff. It might even bring back my love of life...

Help us out, kind-hearted passerby. Call out that magical name with us!

You, with the thick tail over there, I'm talking to you!

Eh? Me?

C'mon, dig into your heart, and shout the name with us. Three, two, one!

Old Karl Mead!

Um... Gavial's stew?

Cut!

You said the wrong line, Thick-Tail!

P-Please don't call me that...

Where did Avdotya find such a strange woman...?

Avdotya?

Hold on a sec... You aren't with Old Karl Mead's fan club!

Avdotya's the only sober-looking person in the club!

Wow, they actually use sobriety as their identifying standard...

What now, brother? Should we cancel our yodel-your-heart's-desires-out event?

Not a chance!

You're a Liberi who came here from the surface, aren't you? Fate brought us together today. Come, come. I still have another half-barrel of the good stuff.

Inam, they actually carry around barrels of alcohol with them!

Where did they even get their hands on barrels that big?

This mead's the best stuff in all of Zeruertza! Though, there are always a few know-nothings out there who refuse to admit it.

Wanna give it a shot, Liberi? You won't regret it.

I have to hand it to you guys... You sure are enthusiastic.

All good, it's on us! One look at you, and we can tell you're...

A gentleman of utmost distinction?

Not quite sober. Just the right type to become one of us!

Are you saying I give off far out vibes? Hahaha, that's the first time anyone's said that about me. Never thought I'd be learning something new about myself here.

You can count me in then. Bottoms up!

How about the ladies over here? If you don't mind...

Mm, I'd like a try as well.

J-Just a little bit then!

Wait, come back! Why are you drinking? We still have business to attend to!

Huh? You're uh...

Dear citizen, I know that confronting an important architectural designer such as myself might be a bit intimidating.

But don't be fooled by the fact that these individuals appear idle. They actually have quite a bit of work to do, so if you'll please excuse us...

Are you sure you don't want some, brother? This mead's seriously good stuff.

Me? I'll pass, I don't drink.

As one of the few Durins who needs his brain for problem-solving, I prefer to keep my head clear...

...Ugh.

Why are you looking at me like that? And why are you lifting those barrels up?

Did you hear what he just said? My ears weren't playing tricks on me, right?

This kid says he NEVER drinks? And supposedly to keep his head clear?

We're in trouble, my friends. An alien has infiltrated our city!

Open your eyes, you drunkards! They look more like aliens than anything else!

It's time we let this fella know just how much nonsense he's spewing!

'Harder than ice, longer than winter. More silent than tears, more futile than sighs.'

'Inova still cannot forget the afternoon she departed. The town was like a coughing giant, exhaling rust and spitting blood.'

'She trips and falls, but climbs back to her feet. Her steps know no pause. She doesn't ask for much— she only wants to find a land without dreams, and a few moments to waste.'

'Perhaps a cup of hot tea and a few sips of light liquor. Indulgence is not a sin, at least in her case.'

'What... is she after, and what is she running from?'

'Even she does not know the answers to these questions.'